Sunday, March 26, 2006
Emo self once again like i was in december .Tried so hard but it doesn't goes anywhere. Guess it's you who had been making me stress all this while .I've been thinking HARD . Apart of me says Yes and No . But when it comes till the end there's no answer . I'm speechless. I've been mute. You've asked me for alot of times . And you know what my answers were .When u ask me that particular question, I totally went blank . I got berserk after that . I'm pissed as i can't think of any other way . I don't reply u. I went silent all of a sudden . And i can't find a reason why too . It just so happen . Memories we once had were great . Happy moments we shared were really unforgotten . But that was the past , that i can't somehow forget . U rejected me twice And u took 3 months to hesitate to ask me again . In between that 3 months i don't know what u've done , What you've been thinking, Who you were with,and i really thought u've forgotten me till all of a sudden u appeared out of the blue and asked me somestuff that i can't absorb after being alone all this while .It really hurts when the two of us part. Never will i want to feel that again .I wanted u so bad when we just broke off . SO BAD that i even thought of negative stuff such as commiting something that only a few knows.Something really stupid .That won't even solve all my problems. I asked , U rejected . I thought,waited,hoping,wishing i could feel ur presence once more . Now, after we started contacting once more . I feel glad as i really miss you .Sometimes when i see u , It feels great to be by ur side once more . Sometimes when it's time to go home,i get so sad that i shed some tears . ( I'm not ashame to admit) Holding it. Perservering .Pretending to be strong in front of you . Till when u're not in sight anymore and i'm alone everything spills. Awkward? Very for my kind of person . Maybe i'm not the one for you . Cause when u find someone else , I feel like a whole bloody pile of DUNG . Left .Forgotten .Unknown.Gross.Couldn't be bothered.( Who would want to bother SHIT u tell me ?) I felt it once and remembered every single way u treated me . Don't think you notice as u were happily with someone new. Thanks for everything . My decision made in december , My thinking , I should stay firm to it . So what if i suffer now? I regret now? I suffered enough.Had enough.Regretted for more than 3 months. There are many more fishes in the sea. Just not now . It ain't the right time to go fishing yet . Patient . Not desperate for someone new . Patiently seeking . = )LOVE HURTS !
11:59 PM;